After some time it is now acceptable to talk about it: Robinson Cano leaving the Yankees. I am sure all the fans who were traveling are now caught up, and those fans who were left with mouths agape are finally able to close them. Robinson Cano leaving the Yankees was as jarring to the Universe as Brian Griffith’s death to fans of the show “Family Guy.” Many of whom turned to change.org to circulate a petition to bring Brian back. Yes, it is an animated show. All that does is prove that there are way to many single guys living at home or in their parents’ basement, or man children who live with their talking teddy bear a la the movie,”Ted.” Perhaps, the truer comparison is the killing off of Shane on “The Walking Dead.” Many were aghast that the show would do that since Shane was the necessary antagonist/hero the show needed, and multitudes could identify with his rationale in a zombie apocalypse. Remember how he killed Otis so that he would escape a herd of zombies, or how he wore out the group’s welcome on the farm by shooting up the barn? Scores of people loved to hate him, but he was a necessary element to the show to balance against Andrew Lincoln’s character, Rick, though not the most important part of the show. This is Robbie Cano.
Cano will probably prosper in Seattle much the way the actor who played Shane, Jon Bernthal, is excelling currently. He left the show and this year has co-starred in a movie with the Rock, Dwayne Johnson, and is starring in the new Frank Darrabont show, “Mob City.” He also has a couple of movies due later in December, “Grudge Match” and “The Wolf of Wall Street,” directed by Martin Scorsese. Not too shabby. Though he is no Jessica Chastain, circa 2011, when she exploded on the scene in every film. Still, the point is Bernthal is not to be pitied. Cano and his 240 million dollar contract are not to be lamented either. Even though New York offered him more money per year in 175 million for seven year offer Robinson went after the ten year 240million deal. Perhaps, he wants to be the next Julio Franco and play until he is 42? Good luck with that, Robbie. Or maybe he just enjoys playing in Safeco Field where last year he hit a whopping .154, and before the critics run out of the woodworks bashing the guy please remember those were playoff games where he normally does not hit any way as evidence by his lusty .222 postseason batting average. Wait a minute New York did not make the playoffs last year? Even though at last count they were still two games out of the last wild card spot meanwhile the New York Giants hired Stephen Hawking to find even more mathematical possibilities to keep their season alive. Could it possibly be that Cano just loves that Seattle style wood grill pizza? -You know he probably wants to start a rap career and thought Seattle, Washington would be the perfect place to rap about. After all Jay Z already has “Empire State of Mind,”about New York. Hence, Cano is rumored to be working with Nicki Minaj on releasing, “Evergreen State of Mind.” The Mariner Moose is also rumored to be Cano’s hype man in the music video. Move over Flava Flav the Mariner Moose is going to show us how to get down in 2014.
Honestly, why Cano left is of little to no concern to anyone. Except maybe the ghost of George Steinbrenner. Let’s just say the writers agreed it was necessary for the ratings. Okay, so now how do the writers, aka the Yankees brass respond? Who will be that necessary evil that a show like “The Walking Dead” relied on to move forward. Who is going to take the mantle of necessary element the way David Morrissey’s Governor splendidly did? The possibilities so far are interesting, but none really stands out. Sure, Brian McCann is a considerable upgrade behind the plate , but he is also being overpaid and overcompensated with too many years. Though most of the Yankee Universe must be champing at the bit to find out what Sterling’s home run call for him will be: “the Mc CAN CAN man” or “Yes! We McCAN.” Similarly, Jacoby Ellsbury looks like a good pick up, but did they really have to offer him only seven years? Why not give him a life time contract? Look forward to another star studded disabled list. Then there is Carlos Beltran, who seems like a solid pick up, despite his defensive limitations. Though giving him three years instead of two might come back and hurt the team when in his third year the roster has forty-seven DHs. Wait, Jeter will probably fill in at DH. Make that forty-eight DHs. To those of you shaking your fists in anger at how the Bombers forfeited draft choices for these free agents take heart in the fact that if they had high draft picks they would probably redraft Cito Culver and Joba Chamberlain.
Who will be the focus of fan ire now that Phil “Sorry, guys I’m a fly ball pitcher and that’s all that I am” Hughes is gone, or that Joba can no longer jog out of the bullpen and fire a couple in the back stop. One would figure Joba would have lost more weight considering all the times he had to run to cover home plate after he gave up so many run scoring hits the last couple of years. Thankfully, Kuroda re-signed, and surely scores of people in the baseball world had to wonder why he would do that to himself. The poor guy left his arm on the field last year much like David Cone did in 1995 playoff in the Kingdome. Would the faithful consider booing Jeter if he gets a slump or consistently reminds people he is almost as old as Barack Obama while playing shortstop? Do not forget they booed in 2004 when Jeter endured an 0 for 32 slump. Okay, so he is actually closer in age to Jennifer Aniston…Sorry, thinking of Jennifer Aniston derailed my train of thought. What were talking about? The New York Giants’ ineptitude this season? Jason Kidd applying for a job at Barney’s for contingency purposes? Raymond Kelly possibly being the third base coach for the Mets in 2014? What does it matter? Jennifer Aniston! And she is in her forties. Just like Robinson Cano will be at the end of his contract, and by the time he is in his sixties the Mariners will probably win their first championship. Which will of course happen before the Mets win that is for sure.
Let’s go Yankees. Wait, what about Jennifer Aniston…Oh yeah.