The June Yankees Quiz

If you are reading this then you know about the paucity of offense the past couple of weeks and about the untimely bullpen hiccups and defensive miscues that have cost them games.  Sure this could be another article heavy in sabermetrics that does nothing more than clamor about how the sky is falling.  Or it could be another tremendously savy piece about why Dellin Betances is the next coming of Mariano.  Or it could be another piece of hagiography about none other than the holiest of holies, Derek Jeter.  Where is the fun in that?

Instead this a quiz to gauge how well you know the 2014 Yankees:

1) Remember that almost six hour game the Yankees lost to the Rays?  When they went 1 for 13 with runners in scoring position, and Derek Jeter went an illustrious 0 for 7?  Yeah me neither! Why would anyone want to remember that?

2) Why do people still wear Robinson Cano shirts or jerseys?

Answer: Modell´s practically gives them away, and obviously the people who wear them enjoy living in the past.  So the next time you see a girl with a Cano shirt then you know she is still hung up on her ex.

3) How long before Yangervis Solarte gets a day at Yankee Stadium?

Answer: Right after the front office officially declares April Tino Martinez month.

4) Has anyone else noticed the remarkable similiarities between Derek Jeter and Derek Zoolander?  Both are ridiculously good-looking and have lots of ladies.  Both work to help children: Jeter has the Turn Two Foundation and Zoolander has the Derek Zoolander School for Kids who can´t read good and want to learn to do other things good.  And most importantly both can not go left.  Well, in all fairness the last time Jeter came up with a ball hit to his left was 2005.  Maybe.

5) What are the chances Carmelo stays?

Answer: Yeah, it is off topic, but come on the way this season is going who is not wondering about that one?

6) Is it true if you say,”Alex Rodriguez ” three times in front of a mirror Mike Francesa calls your cell and tells you how you do not know anything about life.

Answer: Yes, it is.

7)  How long before we find out that Michael Pineda is Carl Pavano dressed in disguise?

Answer: Any day now.

8) Anyone remember what it was like for your team to hit with runners in scoring position?

Answer: Thank goodness for the myriad of YouTube videos on the 2009 Yankees.

9) Do the Yankees really use scouts to find prospects or do they just hire the actors who played out of touch scouts in “Moneyball” to tell them they need to replace Giambi?

Answer: Have you seen their farm system?  Sadly, those actors seem to have found a job for life.

10) If Brendan Ryan was a real defensive wizard then he should be allowed to take tha field in a wizard outfit, right?

Answer: It could not hurt.