Back on Thanksgiving, I wrote a piece analyzing which Yankees best represent different Thanksgiving foods. So I thought I’d do another one, this time with tacos. Now I know some of the below ingredients are actually used in authentic tacos, but just roll with it.
Taco creator: Brian Cashman
We need someone to construct the taco. That is Brian Cashman, making sure we have the right mix of ingredients to create a structurally sound taco.
Shell: Aaron Boone
This is what holds everything together. Aaron Boone perfectly embodies a taco shell. He is loose and relaxed like a soft shell but he can also be more rigid and uptight when he needs to be like a hard shell.
Meat(s): Aaron Judge, Giancarlo Stanton, Gary Sanchez, Luke Voit
You have the option of many types of meat, and the Yankees certainly have a beefy meat of the order. If you want a free-range option try Judge — he has a lot of space to roam around in right field.
Salsa/hot sauce: Brett Gardner
This is Brett Gardner. Salsa and/or hot sauce is not the main component of the taco — it’s not going to win any awards. Some people may not even view it as necessary. But most of the time, it completes the taco. It gives the taco a great in-shell presence to help lead the rest of the ingredients to be their best. Plus, it can be mild and calm, or it can get hot and fired up, making it feel like someone is banging the roof of your mouth.
Beans: J.A. Happ
Beans can be a solid addition. They also can sometimes stink up the place. This epitomizes J.A. Happ. After coming over at the trade deadline in 2018, he was very good. But what happens to an open can of beans over the years? It will go bad. And apparently, the number of years you can store beans is 35 years, because Happ was not good in year 36. Hopefully, we secure a new can and Happ goes back to being a dependable arm for the team. Or we can just trade him for some other beans.
Cheese: the bullpen
“Easy cheese”, “cheddar” — ways to describe a high-velocity fastball. The Yankees bullpen has plenty of that, especially Chad Green, Tommy Kahnle, and Aroldis Chapman. Additionally, sometimes people stay away from extra cheese for health reasons, just like how sometimes Aaron Boone might want to stay away from his bullpen for a day to give them rest. But it keeps power and taste sometimes seduce you and you cap off the taco (the game) with some cheese (the bullpen).
Guacamole: the luxury tax
Guac is extra. Do you really need it? Maybe not. But sometimes it just puts the taco over the top. In recent years, the Yankees have been shying away from paying extra for the guac, but this year, they were craving some good old avocado and splurged to bring in Gerrit Cole. They’ll have to pay extra but it worth it.
Lettuce: Luis Cessa
Look, I understand lettuce is not the most popular. But sometimes people might want a little extra crunch. While many people have thrown Cessa to the curb, he actually put together a decent 2019. So while you may never consider Cessa or lettuce as belonging, every once in a while it plays its relatively small part.