Happy Thanksgiving! I, for one, am grateful for a lot of things, many of which pertain to the Yankees. I know that at Thanksgiving dinners, sometimes the discussion can get quite heated. Everyone knows not to talk about religion or politics. But many people don’t know that they should steer clear of some other potentially disruptive topics.
What follows is a non-exhaustive list of things you might not want to bring up unless you want a fight to break out. I would make sure you never utter these things aloud – that is unless you want a full-out brawl to break out during the holiday.
Topics to avoid
Gary Sanchez is an elite starting catcher.
Gary Cole stinks without sticky stuff.
Joey Gallo is an integral part of this Yankees team.
The Yankees should keep their payroll under $200 million because you don’t need to spend to win.
Aaron Boone is underrated.
Derek Jeter is overrated.
Chad Green was better with low socks.
Aaron Judge is injury-prone.
The Yankees should trade Gleyber Torres.
Nestor Cortes’ mustache is ugly.
Giancarlo Stanton should do more yoga.
Lucas Luetge is an elite reliever.
Gleyber Torres was not that bad of a shortstop.
The Yankees can trade Miguel Andujar and Clint Frazier for Matt Olson, even though Frazier is no longer on the team.
Aaron Hicks can play more than 31 games without getting injured.
Yankee Stadium should raise the price of the chicken bucket.
Games are too long.
Yankees Twitter fosters a vibrant, collaborative environment.
There are probably many more, but I’ll leave it that. I would advise you to stay away from the above topics at the dinner table.
What to be thankful for
To lighten the mood, here are some Yankees things I am thankful for:
Clay Holmes and Jonathan Loaisiga
Gio Urshela’s smile
All of Nestor
All of Judge
Chad Green when he keeps the launch angle greater than 50 degrees or less than 10 degrees
Wandy Peralta changeups
Giancarlo Stanton hot streaks
Brian Cashman’s analogies
Boone’s optimism that we will eventually “turn the corner”
Kyle Higashioka randomly running into a huge home run