It’s Friday, you aren’t working hard and you’re already thinking about the weekend. As you plan out what activities you’re going to partake in, I just want to make sure you factor in taking over first place in the AL East, because that’s happening.
It’s been an emotional start to the season. We’ve watched all of our stars get injured. We’ve watched some of their replacements get injured. And we’ve watch Mike Tauchman and Tyler Wade look overmatched every step of the way. But we never once turned our back on this team and I think it is within all of our rights to celebrate a bit.
There are 4 ways to handle this situation:
- Do Nothing, It’s Only May: If you choose this option, you fantasize about missionary sex only. I get it, it’s only May, but get over yourself. Should Aaron Boone and the rest of the team take this approach? Yes. They need to focus on what is ahead of them, but you as a fan have no impact on that.
- Silently Fist Pump Because You’re Planning Your Wedding And Can’t Watch The Games: If they take over first place on Saturday or Sunday, this is a look into Andrew Rotondi’s life. Already missing Game 4 of the World Series because he planned his wedding to be the same day, and this weekend he’ll be faking bathroom breaks to check the score in between cake tastings. That actually doesn’t sound that bad, except he’ll hate every second of it because the cakes aren’t keto. Or even worse… they are.
- Drink Your Face Off: If you’re in your 20s, this is the move. Maybe you’re at the game so you just go to one of the many bars in the area and “turn up”. Let the Jameo shots fly, join a dance circle at Billy’s and see who you meet. Next thing you know, you’ve met a pretty little thing and you’re springing for an Uber back to your place so she doesn’t have to ride the train.* What a night!
- Hop On Twitter And Trash Talk: As a 34 year old, this is my plan. Just get online and tell all four Rays fans to SMDFTB.
They won’t answer because those four people don’t actually exist, and the entire Tampa area is just people from New York and Michigan who wanted to try meth but I’ll feel superior, because I’m in first place.
So what’s your game plan? Reply to this tweet with your plan and I’ll retweet the best ones.
So how does everyone plan on celebrating the @Yankees being in first place this weekend?
— JJ (@JJFromTheBronx) May 17, 2019
*That girl is going to fall asleep in the Uber, so do the right thing and send it to her house so she can sleep this off. Don’t be Alabama about this.
