Opinion

What nicknames will Aaron Boone use?

 

Joe Girardi became notorious for creating nicknames for his players by simply adding a “y” to the end of their names, creating the very eloquent “Gardy”, “Hicksy,” and the like. However, with new manager Aaron Boone now at the helm, here are a few options for nicknames he could go to in his postgame press conferences.

ASCII

Boone, like many managers nowadays, was hired in part due to his willingness and adeptness at working with the analytics. So why not use numbers for nicknames? He could use ASCII, the American Standard Code for Interchange, to encode the monikers.

For example, instead of “Gardy”, you now have 071 097 114 100 110 101 114 for Gardner. Montgomery’s 077 111 110 116 103 111 109 101 114 121 (the longest last name on the projected 25-man roster) really rolls off the tongue.

JERSEY NUMBERS

Sticking with the numbers theme, Boone could use jersey numbers. Instead of “Stanton had a great game today”, it would become “27 had a great game today.” “40 and 24 were on the same page all game today.” It would really tighten things up.

WAR

What better way to classify players by their value to the team? Since WAR is a constantly changing stat, it will keep reporters and listeners on their toes to be able to figure out who is who. One day, a player could be “0.4”, and the next they could be “0.5”. Must keep people on top of their stats!

-OONE

Girardi’s name ends in the same “y” sound he used at the end of many players’ names during his tenure. Heck, maybe his name was actually “Girardie” but over time morphed into “Girardi”. Following suit, perhaps Boone can add the “oone” from his name to the end of his players’ names. Going back to Jordan Montgomery, how does “Montgoone” sound? “Judgoone”? “Romoone”? It may not be the most attractive, but it could work.

Whatever Boone’s nicknames may be, a reason why he was hired was his ability to communicate well with his players and the media, and we’re hoping for many positive postgame press conferences in 2018 (where he can feel free to use any of the above). If worse comes to worst, he could always use Didi’s method and simply hold up emojis for everyone.

 

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