As the 2014 season approaches the midway point so much is abundantly clear: Billy Beane is a marvel. Move over every single politician and put Billy Beane in charge of the country. Seriously, the guy is a certified genius. What he does in Oakland with a budget of quarters that the owner discarded for laundry and coupons from the Sunday paper is outstanding. He should be in charge of all financial decisions for the country. Heck, make him the head of the Federal Reserve. Move over Janet Yellen. Honestly, I am convinced Billy Beane could find the missing Malaysian plane. Just give him a flashlight, some fishing line, and opera glasses and watch. This season is also proving that Vidal Nuño needs to pitch in a bigger park. Say Yellowstone or Yosemite. Though it may just be that he is one inning lefty reliever a la Boone Logan. What there is no debate about is how he has not capitalized on the chance to deliver on the promise he displayed last year. Perhaps he needs to go to say, Target Field, where he can grow facial hair and play without a spotlight like someone else we all knew and booed. This is where you the reader have a Seinfeld moment and say, “Hughes” as if he were “Newman.” Lastly, the season is teaching fans that the 2014 Yankees might be one of the most boring teams in history.
Please do not misunderstand this is not a referendum on Kevin Long like many who angrily tweet Mark Feinsand, the Daily News Yankees reporter, that Long deserves to go. Kevin Long is not the reason the team has not hit consistently. Larry Rothschild is not the reason the starting rotation has wobbled much of the first half, and Joe Girardi is not reason the team has middled around .500. Nor is “the shift” to blame. Though I still do not understand how an opposite field single or a bunt to third is playing into the hands of the opposing team. If the name of the game is getting runners on base to put pressure on the opposing team then bunt away. No, you are right Mark Teixiera you and your under .250 average are right. Do not change your gameplan at all. Afterall, if the opposing team’s defense stacks the line expecting the run then just hand it off to the running back. Just do what you would normally do. One has to wonder if Kevin Gilbride and Mark Teixiera are the same person?
Perhaps the problem is that Bald Vinny has not appeared in many games this year due to a new job. Or it could simply be that the team needs George Costanza to come in and teach the team the basics of hitting. Like he said in that Seinfeld episode, “It’s simple physics.” Though it must not be because the offense is marginally better than the makeshift line ups of last year led by Brent Lillibridge, Reid Brignac, and Travis Hafner. One has to wonder if Cashman is figuring out a way to bring Lyle Overbay back to the Bronx. Seriously, what “moves” is Cashman going make at the trade deadline? The way the team is constructed and with all the financial commitments the team has for the coming years there is not much room to improve this team for this season or coming seasons. The Yankees essentially need Michael Pineda, aka Carlito Pavano, to return and show the promise that made him a huge catch for Cashman a couple of seasons ago. CC and Hiroki have to be solid in the second half, and Brian McCann needs to remember he is Brian McCann not Chris Stewart.
Maybe fans should take a page out of the John Boehner playbook and sue the front office. It could work. Yes, this is probably just another set up for a “Not” joke. Sacha Baron Cohen would be proud…..not.
